[church bells]

Today's Sermon: Taking a Moment To Contemplate the Divine

The sermon board in front of The Church of Odysseus. Next Sunday’s Sermon: Thank You, Aaron Bushnell

Dearly Beloved,

We are gathered here together this Sunday morning as crass, vulgar, money-hungry American sheep. As we fidget in our hard pews, let us remember that Caesar is using the money we render unto him to douse innocent Palestinian children with accelerant before lighting them on fire. As the Very Reverend John Hagee has said, “Let the little children suffer.” Right now.

Alexis De Tocqueville wrote that the crass commercialism of the Americans would leave us soulless, pussy-whipped, and uneducated. The only thing preventing us from becoming repulsively docile, sheep-like slaves, he said, was our religiosity. True, “religious insanity is frequently to be met with in the United States,” he wrote, but once a week, on Sunday mornings, Americans were able to stop their commercial activity for an hour and contemplate The Divine in church. This, he said, would save us.

But De Tocqueville wrote that in, like, 1840—long before Superbowl I. Today, the only Americans who still go to “church” are the mentally ill rabble who thump along to the cadence at John Hagee’s weekly pep rallies for Jesus, Jews, and genocide

A week ago, one of our Christian brothers forced us to take our eyes off the dollar and look at what that dollar was doing to some little kids who never did anything to us. We are paying the vile Satan-worshiping murder turds who’ve taken control of what the travel brochures call “The Holy Land” to burn little children to death just like Abraham was going to do to his own son before he came to his senses and told Jehovah to go fuck himself.

That brother’s name was Aaron Bushnell, who understood that it profiteth a country nothing if it gains the whole world but loses its soul. He doused himself with gasoline and set himself ablaze shouting Free Palestine! Free Palestine! Free Palestine!

Can I get a Free Palestine!

[congregation] Free Palestine!

I think it was Batman who said, “There is no greater love than that a man lay down his life for his brothers. Let us bow our heads for a few minutes brothers and sisters and contemplate the sublime act of Aaron Bushnell, and thank him for all he did for us and remember his holy, sacred words:

If you ever wondered what you would do if your country were committing unspeakable evil, the answer is, you are doing it. Right now.

Let us pray.