Cartoonish Florida
Imagine a state legislature so inept it passes a law making its own passage a third degree felony
There must be something about having a Disney theme park in a state that turns the state’s legislature into a full-blown clown world. We all wrote off California years ago as an example of what happens when clowns seize control of the government apparatus—our assessment continually reinforced by the stories we’d hear from traumatized American refugees fleeing the state. But California’s status as having the most cartoonish state government in the country is meeting a serious challenge from Florida.
In 2019, Florida’s state legislature passed, unanimously in both houses, HB 741, a law that, while adding “religion” to the list of protected classes alongside race, gender, age, and so on, defined “anti-Semitism” and prohibited it in any public educational program in Florida by any employee or student—including kindergartners. Then, last month, that same legislature passed, unanimously in both houses, HB 269, a law that moves “religious protections” out of the schools and into the realm of political speech, providing third degree felony violations carrying up to ten years in prison for anti-Semitic political speech.
“Examples of anti-Semitism include…[m]aking stereotypical allegations about…Jews controlling the media, economy, government or other societal institutions”1 or “accusing Jews as a people of being responsible for real or imagined wrongdoing committed by a single Jewish person or group.”2 So, in Florida, the laws together make Neal Gabler, author of “An Empire of Their Own: How the Jews Invented Hollywood,” guilty of anti-Semitism. But, as Mr. Gabler is Jewish, himself, he doesn’t face the same anti-Semitism jeopardy a gentile faces. In other words, he is held to a double standard as a Jew. And since, by HB 741, Israel is the political expression of the Jewish people,3 and holding Israel to a double standard is illegal anti-Semitism,4 this legislative application of a double standard to Mr. Gabler is an act of anti-Semitic discrimination. And since legislation is the political expression of the people, HB 269 makes its own passage a felony.
Seriously, Florida and, especially, Representative Randy Fine have done us a solid by illustrating the complete clownishness of the whole idea behind anti-Semitism in the first place—a word made up by Russian rabbis and first used in 1880. Like, there's bigotry, and then there's this special bigotry that only applies to Jews. God's chosen bigotry, as it were. I mean, come on.
Why don’t we just drop this “anti-Semitism” thing as being so retarded adults just can’t take it seriously, and if you hear someone use the word unironically, just ridicule them for being an obvious imbecile too stupid to at least have the good taste to try to hide it. Unless they are in Florida. Then elect them to the state legislature.
Or even governor. Today, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis will announce his candidacy for president of the United States. The fact that he traveled to Israel in 2019 to sign HB 741 into law and then again last month to sign HB 269 into law is sure to be a huge campai—oh, look! A drag queen!
F.S. 1000.05 (7)(a)(2)
Ibid. (a)(3)
Ibid. (b)(3)
Ibid. (b)(2)